I now then discovered there's so many stuffs in blogger. -_-
Anyway, Dad went to work, leaving me home alone as usual in this early morning. So then, I can't sleep. And started to think of the past, again.
I was asked why my primary 6 life have so many classmates, I only remembered a few such as Junhao and Qiuhui etc. Reason? Because they treated me well. Like a friend. Not an outsider.
I was treated like an outsider during my P5 days. Mainly because I don't come from the same class as them. But glad they accepted me fast. And we all became great friends. Some even wrote me letters asking me why I didn't go to school during P6.
They treat everyone well. Such as when Meisheue join us during P6, we all gave her a warm welcome. Unlike the other class of mine. Both are 6D, only at a different year. Why is there so much difference? This is the Dear class I've got. The other one we call really called it donkey as named by our principal.
Firstly, Junhao is the first classmate I came across during P6. I forget to bring papers. Asked so many people to lend me. And what they reply? One said, ''Sorry, I didn't bring too." Then what are you using to write at now? -_- The other said, "Sorry, I don't have extra." Then what is the pad of papers on your table? -_-
Junhao is different. Asked him for a piece of paper, he said sure. "If not enough, I still can lend you more pieces." He introduce himself too. Asked me my name and says, "Welcome to 6D." Suddenly I feel warmth and touched. Finally I smile alittle.
As for Qiuhui. She came forward to join me at recess when I have no one to eat with. Introduce herself too. And we had a nice chat. That's why I remembered afew girls like Irene, Xuefang and junhao most. Other P6 de friends, I'm not really close with them.
Being called "Lao Zha Boh" and "Sang Bi Ba" and said that I lick the teacher's boots isn't a nice feeling. Being cursed that I'll fall ill everyday is a more worse feeling. I torelate with them. Hoping this will end soon and I can leave them. Forcing myself and stressing myself everyday to score good grades, don't want them to look down on me.
Everything I torelate le. Give them an inch they take another. They can actually dump away my most precious journal! Which is the only memory I have of my dear 5D. Those words of encourage my dears gave me. Which lets me stays on and bear with everything. Search the rubbish chute whole day. Level from level. Still nothing. Cried the whole day. Who knows about all this suffering of mine?
Tried to jump down the school building from the 4th floor when fell ill on PSLE english day. Principal don't allowed me to take the english exam. Ask me to stay for another year. NO! I don't want. What am I working so hard for? I've already wasted one year. I don't want another. I need to be more hardworking then others. Prove them wrong and prove to myself I can do it too. But.. Perharps if I really jumped down that time, all my sufferings will be gone now.
Luckily the teacher which I hate the most. Mrs Irene Tan actually helped me. Managed to go for the english exam in a private room where she stays to accompany me. At least I still got a more then 60 for that. Thinking to myself. If I take all the subjects, having more then 60 marks per subject, I might get more then 240-250. Which is the grades I stress myself for to be able to go Bukit Panjang Govt High.
Perharps this is just fate. I can't changed it. But I can't wash my memories away, can I? I hate 1998. I hate being alone. The feeling isn't good. Everything and anything alone and lonely. Don't have anyone to talk to. Pitch dark surroundings. Lots of weird stuffs. What are those?
Being accdiently locked up in a toilet in the evening once during lower primary started my fear. No matter how much I screamed and shouted, there's no one to help me. Suddenly, I find that being alone isn't good. Lie by my classmates to the sports store and locked me up there. The place I hated the most. Dark and scary. What a place. Alone again.
My friends said my encounters if written to a book or flim it sure popular one. Hahaha.. Don't know. I only know after so much happenings, I've turned more mature. That's what all my friends said. I'm not the timid and scardy cat Tan Rong Fang anymore. Not anymore. I know.