If you know me well, you should be able to know that I'm a person that tends to hide my feelings. Esp sadness within me. Don't want my mood to affect others. Will just try to put up a force cheerful front in front of others. But not anymore. Because I broke down. I just want to cry so much now. I'm totally weaken by my surround happenings.
Trying to stay cheerful doesn't work. It will only made you more upset. I tried to pretend there's nothing wrong. Went shopping with my family today, chat with cousins, joke with them etc. But alas, it doesn't help at all. And yes, it really made me feel worse now. I shouldn't hide my feelings at all. Just let myself break down would be better. At least I won't feel so terrible.
So many stuff happened. Firstly one of my best girl friend got admitted into hospital. Reason?
She got beaten up by her boyfriend!
FUCK!!!!!!!
Pardon me but I can't stand guys who beat up their girls. What are girls to them? Some punching bag for them to vent their anger on? I hate this kind of guys. And what have I seen? Not one okay, but two of my girlfriends had abusing guys as boyfriends. And they are so damn stupid not to leave them. Not to even make a police report. One after one, my two poor girlfriends got abused. Times after times. Admitted to hospital again and again. Right. It's just a fall. So smart to fell so badly right? I admire you for it.
I'm washing my hands off them now. From now onwards. Don't ever come crying to me saying that you got beaten up or what so ever. Just let them punch for all the fuck I hell care. And shut up. Suffer in silence if you can.
Next, one of my best guy friend whom I had known for years got into an accident. And was admitted into the hospital now. Although he's not that badly hurt. But what he needs now is care and concern from friends and esp his girlfriend. But what the hell his girlfriend did? Turn one eye and walk away. Pretend she didn't even know him. Because he gotten some cut on his face and his bimbo girlfriend thought his handsome look would be gone forever. And now choose to leave him. Fine! Good. Very good. He can live well without his girl. We as his good friends would be there for him. He don't need this kind of girl as a girlfriend.
To protect my friends, I won't reveal out who they are. But they're not online friends whom I know. They're my real life best buds. Friends whom I had known for years. Perhaps you would ask why am I feeling so down just because of my friends. You're wrong. Because I'm having health problems.
My throat does seems better after those strong dose of medication. But not my nose. My nose keep bleeding these few nights. Doctor had already told me there's some problems with my nose. Better to get it cure quick or it may lead to cancer. Cool! I told him I'll love to try having cancer. And got scolded. Tried to act there's nothing wrong when he checks my nose. Was like not pain at all! But then, it hurts. Because I know once I told him it's fucking pain, sure I'll get send into hospital for a check up. Now what? Wait for it to be heal like the previous time? Will I be so lucky every time? Hope so.
No worries. I always had lady luck to shine on me when I'm having health problems. Stages after stages, I've passed them didn't I? I'm sure it will be the same this time. Sometimes just hope that there's a close someone there for me to talk to. My parents hack care about my health problems. Their famous sentence. Sick go and die then. Poor people can't be sick. Right. How nice. Death is the only option.
Even mickey mouse's not here for me most of the time. He's always busy or tired. And in the end I told him nothing. It seems so tough for me to find someone to talk to. Someone comfortable to pour out my problems to. Last time there's buddy who will be there for me 24/7. But now? Even he's avoiding me. And I know the reason too well. Well, never mind. Maybe leaving me alone will be good. I'll just love to be alone for awhile. Pardon me.