I'm sleepy. But I don't intend to sleep so early. 4am. 5 more hours and I'll need to wake up. But nope. No bed for me. It's computer for now. Wanted to tired myself out. So that I can sleep well till the morning without any nightmares in between. Controlling myself not to eat the pills. It's a controlled drug. Side effects had began to affect me. Blur mood and shivering hands etc.
Stress over job and some stupid problem. For job. I don't want to get transfer away to the east part of Singapore. Hence chiong ing sales like mad. Not many today. But at least have some. Am already glad. I don't ask for a lot of sales for me to earn. For the stupid problem. I heard a news about that person which concerns me. Not going to do anything. I'm just going to wait and see.
I feel that I'm really not being fair. But I don't know why am I still doing it. It's some sort of like making use. Will that hurt? Will I be hurt too? Why have I become so evil? Why can't I spare a thought for others? Why did I only care about myself? So many whys in my head spinning. I still can't forget the matter although I've tried really hard. I'm sick and tired of this feeling.
Just want to spend the night out till late. Came home and face computer. Nothing else more. I think I'm trying to make myself collapse real bad from what I'm doing now. Why am I doing all these once I heard the news of that person? Does that person's matter still concerns me? Regarding the matter, it's in a whole mess. And the pile of mess is getting bigger. Big headache.
I don't know. Maybe I still miss him after all? Oh ya, right. Miss him? VERY funny. HAHAHA!