I dun even know why i'm getting so easily sad recently.Keep thinking of the sad matters which happened last time.Keep dreaming of last time when mum's in hospital.Keep sawing blood all over.ICU!Ward!Help!Am i suffering from depression?
Nowadays i can be one moment happy the other moment upset.Crying and sobing easily too.Just what is wrong with me?Too many problems cause this?Or is it really signs of depression?Find myself useless.Nobody cares about me.If it's really depression,i got to find a cure to this immediently.
Today went out with jeff.I can be so angry with him for sleeping and arrived late.Can flare up so serious.Jeff was shocked and worried.Cos he saw me without a smile on my face.No matter how much he did to cheer me.I can't even laugh.If i did.It would only be awhile.Keep asking rong rong cheer lah.Dun sad sad lah.Dunno why i just can't.Haiz..
Is there something wrong with me?Can say that jeff knows me the best.He was saying dun force urself on a matter if it makes u sad.Everything got to end.Is just sooner or later.If i let go earlier.It would be better.Saying about habbo bah?Maybe he's right.Should go find a job.Getting too free is not a good thing after all.
Really thanks jeff for acompany me the whole noon.Thanks pal for being by my side when i'm unhappy.Recently my smile is being forced out.Cos i dun want my bad mood to affect others.I remember someone saying.Dun forced urself.If u think cry out will be better.Then go ahead.This words are so familar yet so unfamilar.
Rong Rong smile.Can i?Never laugh and smile out from my heart for so long till i forget when.Today mum's medical fee cost around $200.Haiz..Ex lah.Jie was saying she got a job lobang as a telemarketer at suntec.Salary is $2000!Regarding the CASE admin job introduced by my friend no news liao.Nvm..I'll try to find a job real soon.
Now it's raining and slight thunder now.Can i say i hate or like this kind of weather?I keep hiding myself up nowadays.Could it really be depression?I dun wish and dun want to know now.Really a big thanks to all my friends for care and concern.Now i know in this lonely planet.There's people who cares.Not all friends are bad.Not like those so call 'friends' last time.
Maybe i should really go malacca with mum soon.Mum can even says now after her medical bills.She's broke.Hard to travel to malacca.I'm really useless.Why can't i help out in family financial?This is bad.I need to work!Argh!Stress man.The word fan becomes my pet phrase le.Fan ah!I'm like a tortoise hiding in a shell.Avoiding everything.Shoos now.~~