Everything seems in a mess for me recently.Did not celebrate twins birthday.They not going out.So oh well.Spend my day lazing again.Was not allowed to online too much.So guess day time i will disappeared.Owl only attacks at night for a couple of hours.Electric bill fly real high.Phone bills too.Was $5 more then last month.And tio complained. x.X
Can only catch me after 10pm.Maybe going to find a job with fenni.Hmm..Bless we get one.CNY coming.Need extra cash.Ytd that wedding dinner dad attend cost him afew hundreds for ang pao.I really need to be of some use.I wun be useless forever.
But i'm not really that great.Can't even comfort my depressed buddy.Fai's sad again.He seems to have lots of problems.And asked me to call him ytd night.Chat for awhile.Ask him to relax.Dun think too much.But guess it's hard and useless.Managed to 'coax' him to sleep later.But began to think of some stuffs he said.Sometimes life is not what u want it to be.
Came across qi's blog.And shocked to know what's happening to kai ma.My dear kai ma, prays that u are alrite.What's wrong?Why is she behaving this way?Remember u still have us all.We can always talk.Dun crop everything to urself.
I'm being 'infected' by Fai.Having alot of thoughts recently too.Thinking of my past.And can't see a future.Feel i'm guilty regarding lots of matters.Maybe cos of those matters.I've begin to wise up and turn mature alittle.05 is coming to an end.2 years ago was a tough year.Those 'screens' keep reappearing in my mind.But the most tough was my childhood days.
Should really not bring all these up again.If i'm not that useless.I wun be alone now.I would have someone to share my problems to.Have someone to take care of.Have someone to let me dote on.But now all will not come true.It's just a dream now.To fill up the emptyness in my heart.But the guiltness stays.No one knows about these thoughts of mine.No one know that these matters left a big scar to me.Which will never fade.
There's only two regrets in my life.One which is regarding school matter where i'm still blaming myself for it.Another one is this.Maybe this is fate.Maybe i'm fated to be alone and lonely.I'll really like to make it up to my family.Be more obedient.I'll do everything i can.My parents done so much for me.Give up so much stuffs for me.This i promise u.Pa and ma.Trust me.