Feeling alittle cold now and can't sleep. That's why i'm blogging at such a ''late'' time. On and off my computer for the second time till at last i made up my mind to blog. If not i'm sure i'll feel uneasy. But i had to type really slow and soft. Don't want to wake my mum up.
I'm thinking is it better to write it down in my journal? Guess it's not. I hate writing all of a sudden.
Having alot and alot of hows and whys in my mind. But just can't get an answer. Sometimes i really wish i can change my wishy washy bad habit. As what my dad says. You ai, mai, ai, mai, when you decided, the chance is gone.
Sigh..
I have a very weird temper. Once i make up my mind on doing something. I'll die die must do it. But before that, i'll go consider again. Ai, mai, ai, mai. In the end? Fed up. Don't do. -_-
Talk to bas da jie awhile just now. Asking her on should i go try out a job? Saw that the pet shop at Lot 1 needs a shop assistant. It's full time. Means it's from 11am to 10pm. I know i can't. It's far too long and tiring. I'll miss both meals at home. And i hate takeaways.
Somemore it's at Lot 1. The place i hate most. Another place i hate is west mall. Don't ask me why. I just plain hate these places. Fenni dislike Lot 1 cos she have lots of friends there. And if she works there, she will bump into any of them. Me? I don't know why.
Bas says my motto in litez is Never Say Die, Say Try!
So why can't i try before saying i can't? But i know i can't anyway.
How i wish i have the spirit to mantain what i said. If i preserve this spirit. I wouldn't have landed this way. I wouldn't have skip the PSLE and dropped out of school.
Another thing. I hate my stubboness. If i'm not as stubborn as an ox.
But i'm an ox anyway so can't blame
And listen to junhao and irene when they persuade me last time. I wouldn't have just give the bo chup style. I remembered one of my teachers saying.
This is your future, if you don't think of it and help yourself, who will?
My reply?
Yea, yea, this is my future so keep out of it. I choose my own path.
See? My reply when i'm in a fit of anger turns everything upside down.
I told Curze just now. Finding someone who understands ourselves is hard. But does anyone knows that understanding our ownself is more harder?
And to Curze: I know we can be really great friends. :)
Feel that i type such a cheem post today. It's only due to emoticons. Don't worry. I'm not crazy yet.
Feeling alittle better after blogging my problems out. And am getting alittle sleepy now. At last. So off to bed. Thanks my dear bloggie for hearing my woes.
Didn't talk nor see him online for a couple of days. Wonder how is he? Sort of miss the days we chat together. Sometimes things will change. For the better or worse? We wouldn't know unless it happens.