These few days I'm feeling rather tired. Tired of online. Drowsy after the medication everyday that I spent almost the whole day on my bed half dozing off. On high volume of my mp3 and blast it loud. I really enjoyed this carefree feeling that allows me to do nothing at all. Don't have to bother about anything. Just tuck myself in bed and listen to my favourite songs. Just noticed that I can't do without my mp3 now. My hp and mp3 had become part of my life.
Dream called me 4 times today. I just accept his call on the 4th time which is at midnight. The other 3? Don't want to pick up the call due to my voice. Still have not fully recovered yet. Don't even dare to talk much recently. It's the 10th day I didn't talk like a parrot liao. Dream called to apologize. Actually I knew it when I read the news that she is leaving. Darren promise me he won't do it so I know it won't be him who done that. It's dream and he feels bad to us. No worries, for me, I will respect their decision. As for the others, I hope they will too.
Talked awhile on the phone and chasing dream off to sleep soon. We talked about darren and all the others. He wonders why I knew both of them first but I didn't join them. Well, the fact is I applied both places and got picked out here. Theirs I think went into the rubbish chute. Dream told me it was darren who picked them last time and scolded him stupid for not selecting me. Otherwise, they won't have to carry such a heavy burden now. Haha. Your mistake silly guys.
Just hope our friendship mantain like this. Hope this won't cause arguements among us. I don't want to declare war to a friend. And I hope dream respect my choice and understand what I wanted just as how darren understands me. Sometimes, I really don't know who is wrong and who is right. Both are my friends. But seems I know darren more so I would prefer to trust him more.
Dream is in a bad shape now. Hope everything goes well for him. Keep me updated and don't let me worried. Unlike darren, he will. Darren will just go mia and let us worried about him for nothing. And when darren wants to do something, he will just do it for fun for awhile and dump it to the others soon. I don't want to catch the ball for him. And I don't want to be sandwich again. I'm perfectly fine here. Neither will I blame anyone for it. It's all your choice and I will respect both of my best buddies choice, no matter what they do.
Sigh, I don't want this to happen again. I won't know who to help if something happens again. I just want my peaceful life back. Friends and family, I wanted both. Am I too greedy? It's okay if you don't understand what I'm trying to say. Because this post shouldn't be understood by anyone. Don't want to pinpoint the main thing out too. So just leave me alone and let me type all these weird stuffs for the following days.