Saw so many of my cousins online just now. Bet they're trying to ask me how my work goes. Appeared offline till all of them are gone. I feel so stress. Haven't start work can feel the stress already. Didn't join uncle and the rest for movie and dinner tonight. Was too tired. Mentally tired. Need to sort out a lot of my thinking. Maybe I'll feel better after a good night sleep.
What I needed now is support. Moral support counts too. But someone just don't know about that. He only knows how to say some very not encouraging things. Which I'm disappointed. I'm stressed till I feel suffocating. Lack of oxygen to breathe. I hope all will be better after work. Vincent's not a scary boss. Suppose we can get along well if all is okay.
Controlling myself. Not going to Darren anymore. Not possible that I depend on him for support for all my life. He had his own life. I had mine too. But why is it that he's always the one that understands me? Not him instead? Not trying to compare the both of them. I just don't understand why some guys must be so bei dong instead of zhu dong. And I'm not a person that is too difficult to understand am I? He just don't know what a girl wants and need.
Care, concern, encouragements and TIME. Is it so hard to ask for even 1 min from him? Just to have a chat on the phone? Why must our conversations always end in less then 1 min? Am I too greedy to ask for all these? Feel so tired sometimes. He asked if I'm still blogging. Of course I am. He said he didn't come to my blog for long. Not sure. Don't know. Perhaps he did come. And did see what I wrote here. Yet he didn't do anything. Speechless. Tired. Till next time. Meanwhile I'm concentrating all my energy on my career. I'm going to make it big and not giving it up easily. Promise.
If only there's rainbow everyday. Sure it will brighten up my dull life. I must be lucky to catch that rainbow. Maybe 2007 will be a great year for me?
If there really sunshine over the rainbow? I. hope. so.
=)
PS: Update at 9.30am: LOL! 2007! Whose the lucky one? =P
