As I said in my last post. Things do changed a lot. Last time, I hate smokers and don't touch a crig at all. Now? I can finish one whole packet of crig in a day. ONE WHOLE PACKET FOR GOODNESS SAKE! I really don't know what's happening to me. Stress is killing me. I'm really tired with life. Not enough time. Not enough money. Not enough rest.
Today I had a mental break down at work. Jes and all the guys were shocked. I went screaming. And keep hitting myself non stop and slamming my fist against the glass and wall till it bleed also no feeling. Jimmy asked me to stop work and go home have a rest. Can see that he's quite scared. Jes asked me to cry out. It would make me feel better. But no matter how hard I tried, I can't squeeze out a drop of tear.
Rushing with time everyday. Aiming to hit the target. Come on! $20000 per month. One mp4 is only 50 plus bucks you tmd de damn shit. How to hit? Hit hit hit, hit your si lang tao lah. Trying to keep myself cheerful. Smile non stop to the customers. As they said, sales line are mai xiao de. Sell smile. So correct. Nearly slap an unreasonable customer today. Quarreled with next door's OGAWA's salesman. Till I nearly throw the penknife in my hand to him. My stupid idiot bad temper is sure to create trouble one day.
I need money! I need money lah! How to clear my stupid shitty debt? Damn salary still need to wait SO LONG. Money haven come in all flow out already. I don't know how I landed up in this mess. You think you're the only one who need money? I'm stress myself too. Argh! Work, money, family, so much stress. Let me play my mia game again. Just leave me alone. Fucking hell world this is. Die also won't lugi.