Just as I thought everything was the end, everything had already end. I had forgotten about the whole single matter and those stuffs regarding it. I was pinning new hopes on a new ray. It was back. Back to haunt me again. I saw the familiar nick in my contact list once again.
This time, it was not familiar. In fact I jumped up upon seeing that nick. I feel a sense of strangeness and comfortablenesses to see that nick again. Not the same feeling anymore. This time the feeling was weird. Like an unsolved mystery that could not be solve. Chains and chains dangling. Long knotted chains being locked up. No way to get out of it forever.
Revealing out the contents of the conversation is useless. It's just some stupid conversation that I don't even know what I'm typing or trying to type. Where I don't even know if I should be the fake or real me in that conversation. Where I don't even know what, who, he, when, why?
I've got out of it already. Why is it back again? Spare me the torture please. I'm pro in knowing a person, even simple lies can't escape from me. Just that I'm still stupid enough to go into the whole chain, making myself all knotted up and don't know which way to start unchain it.
Innocent people like me aren't to be fooled this way. I'm not a clown. Neither am I for you to mess with. Just let me remain innocent this way. I don't want to do anything to harm anyone. I don't want to get the devil in myself out. It's scary. Horrible way to end it.
Sometimes I wish that I could act blur. At least not knowing I'm sure I'll be much happier. Won't be in this mess now. Don't know to continue playing with the fire or to pour a bucket of water and wipe it totally. I don't even know which is real and which is not.
If you want to leave, just get out of my life forever. If not then get me out of this confused mind of mine. You know what to do right? Prove it then.
If not,
SPARE ME!