It's going to be a long post tonight. Maybe the last post of my blog. I don't know. Neither do I want to know. If the worst happen. MIA is what I'm going to do then. Totally no mood.
Counting down. 1 more day to the sentence of the court case. Am afraid to know the result. Still thinking if I should go with him on that day. I'm afraid I can't control myself if the worst happen.
Maybe weeks, maybe months, or the worst, years. But I can wait. I'm willing to wait. I knew it myself who treat me good. You treat me well, I'll treat you well too. Well, if I still can have the chance to prove it.
Not working these few days. Vincent never called. That's good too. This way I can spend more time with him together. If not I really don't know if there's any more chance to do so. Went out early everyday. Came back home late everyday. Trying to spend all my time with him.
Went to a lot of places these few days. We just want to escape. Tried to cheer him up. But the feeling of hiding sadness and smiling out pains both of us. Qiang yan huan xiao is not easy. You can lie to others that we've already fuck care about it. We just want to enjoy everyday. But can't lie to heaven. Worry will still be worry. Tell me, who won't?
Tomorrow will be last day. Hope to spend it well. No electric tomorrow due to lift upgrading. Not going to stay home for the whole day. I just want a day well spend with him.
I really don't know if I should believe in gods. But this is the only thing I can try now. Praying and keeping my fingers crossed. Waiting for Friday to arrive. Mom's birthday on that day too. I don't know if I'm going to cry or laugh on that day. Don't dare to even think about it.
Still thinking if I should accompanying him on Friday. Afraid that I can't control myself. But he really need some support for now. It's a must I guess. Friday. I HATE THAT FUCKING DAY TO ARRIVE!
Accompany him to his shi fu's place yesterday night. He told me everything. The truth that I want to know. Heavy rain. But stopped after he know he's in the wrong and admit it. His shi fu said all is going to be fine if he knows his mistake. Hope so.
Not enough sleep these few nights. Huge panda eyes already. Tell me? How can I sleep when this kind of thing happened? So many problems to trouble over and bother. I don't know how long more can I hang on. If he's alright. I'm going to be fine also.
Why must heaven play this silly joke? It's not funny. I do hope it's only just a joke and will end soon.
This is a nightmare... Let me wake up from it...