Thursday, January 10, 2008

Bad Bad Bad Bad Bad!!!!!

Me now very vexed. Cos me now mind confused. Confused about? You may ask.

I'm sick and tired about it. About what again. You may ask? About relationship.

I hate the fact that he sometimes take me for granted.
I hate the fact that he sometimes takes his anger on me.
I hate the fact that he always joked at the wrong time.
I hate the fact that he always emo and mood swings.
I hate the fact that he don't like the way of me doing things.
I hate the fact that we are getting more and more not along.

I love the fact that he always gives me surprises.
But some how the surprise feeling faded. Cos it's always the same surprise.
I love the fact that he can be loving at times.
But some how the loving feeling towards him faded too.

Has our relationship faces a crisis? The main problem lies with me I know.
And he's going to blame it on Darren or whoever again.

I don't know. I just feel so tired with him sometimes. Afraid to anger him. Afraid to meet him. Afraid to even talk to him.
And the fact that he's working so hard for me makes me think that I'm a burden to him. Tmr he's working 16 hrs total.

I really don't know what I should do now. Today is our 8th mth. And he wanted to go home early. Saying he's tired. I'm SO disappointed. I know I should be understanding cos he's working night shift ytd and lacking of sleep. But somehow I just gave him a not happy mood look.

Parted with him on our way home. I felt relaxed suddenly. Don't know why I had to act the unreal me infront of him now. To be the perfect me infront of him.

Damn, better don't let him see this post. Otherwise hahaha. You know it.

Can someone teach me what to do? I'm a fool when it comes to relationship.