dear jianlong,

finally after so many days of waiting. you called me at near 12mn. talked about 30 mins. i told myself rf don't cry when you hear his voice ok. ended up when i started talking and you started telling me stuffs. i cried again. bah! super crybaby right? i can hear you are living well without me now. enjoying your life.

i can't blame anyone except myself for this broken relationship. sometimes when things are meant to be simple. keep it simple. i don't understand why must i complicate things up? ended up i suffer. if only things never happen. if only i know how to think. i know, kinda useless to talk about all these and if only stuffs now. but i know I'll feel better if i type all these nonsense out. at least it's a good life experience for me.

when the chance is there. grab it! why must i always shove it away and end up regretting in the future? makes no sense right? I'm the one who made the choice myself. but do you know sometimes your brain and heart don't think the same thing? they don't move at the same rate. mine is always slow. then when I know how to think? too late already! all of you don't believe me at all. none of you.

this will be my 遗憾. you will always be my 遗憾. this kind of things nobody can help me at all. not even you. 错到不能再错了才想要回头 太迟了吧? people around me had already leave me one by one. leaving me by myself all alone again. when someone reach for my hand and wanted to help me stand. i pushed them all away. so why do i deserve the help from you people now?

RF STAND UP BY YOURSELF.
DON'T BE AN IDIOT.
YOU FELL AND YOU DESERVE IT.
NOBODY WILL PITY YOU.
DON'T STAND? CAN!
LET PEOPLE CONTINUE LAUGHING.
YOU'RE A FAILURE FROM HEARD TO TOE.