Hate

I've totally broke down from the stress I'm facing. I slapped myself on the face non stop till I bleed today. Hooray! I slapped myself. I slapped myself this fucking bitch that is so dirty from head to toe! And you're the one who made me feel dirty!

I'm bonkers. Don't want anything to happen to him. Yet on another thought, wish that he'll meet with bad accident till he died on the streets and nobody even bothers to claim his body. Otherwise he'll suffer badly at my hand.

SLICE OFF HIS FLESH PIECE BY PIECE! SPRINKLE SALT ON HIS WOUND! POUR BOILING WATER ON HIM! AND DRINK HIS DRIPPING BLOOD AFTER.

THE FEELING IS SHIOK I TELL YOU!

I'm a devil. I know. What have I become? I don't know and don't want to know. I only know it's you who drive me to this.

Why must things become like this? You asked me to change. I have. Isn't this what you want? I'm not dead anymore. I'm alive. Alive with hated.

The feeling is gone. Once it's gone, it's gone forever.

I can only win. I can't afford to lose this time.

021285 - A date a fool was born.
220784 - A date an idiot was born.
080906 - A date which holds memories.
310507 - The date when I'm gone forever?

maybe..

MIA

Don't have time to online.

Will be MIA.

And MIA sounds good at the moment.

Escaping from everything and anything.

Trying to make my mind empty from the medication.

Sleeping peacefully is what I wanted for now.

Am very tired and rest is what I needed most.

Talking Sense

Enough of staying at home. Rested enough. Time to head back to work tomorrow and hand in an excellent sales result.

Enjoyed these few days. Very relaxing. Feeling clam now. No more nonsense from now on. Stubborn temper be gone. Think everything clearly first before any action. Be responsible for it no matter in which it's regarding work or personal. As in what some one said before.

Stand up speak up.

Very true. Stand up and speak up makes sense. Speak everything out. Talk it through. Sure it's understandable. The results won't be that bad. Face the outcome of the things done. No matter held responsible or not.

Please understand.

The Memories

Been a very troubled week. Normally will work at BEST until it closes and stay out till 3am or 4am everyday. Totally have no time to online. Bugged by lots of problems. Both in personal and work stress. I found myself suffocating. No mood to work. Didn't go to work for tons of time. Luckily I had a nice in charge who understands my problem.

Mood's just like a sea saw. Ups and downs. Maybe I will cheer up a little and tried to laugh a bit for my all my friend's sake. But those laughters are not from my heart. Deep down it's still hurting. I'm still suffering in silence. My doctor told me the only way to find a cure to this is to find out what is the problem that troubles me and get rid of it.

Was at home for the past few days. If not will only work half day. Promised myself today will be the last. Rested enough to rush for the weekend. With or without sales, I've already not going to bother too much. At most get transfer or fired. With or without work, life is still the same for me. Since I worked, the path had not been smooth for me.

I missed the old days. I don't have to work. I can stay up till late night to online. And where my first work place Newstead is. The laughters in Newstead. The guys esp Low and Kelvin. In fact, I missed ta pao-ing their lunch and dinner for them. I missed how they would suan and sabo me everyday. I missed waiting for Jes to come and visit us. But now? Everything changed. They're not a family anymore. Due to so many misunderstanding. Don't think I'll step into there anymore too.

Till now I still remember what is the guys favourite food. I still can't forget if I feel mood less and sit alone there, Low and the other few would be the first to approach me, trying to cheer me up with their silly monkey acts. I won't forget how Kelvin quarreled with me everyday. Till Julian have to stop us.

Memories, lovely memories. I'm missing it. Is it possible for time to turn back? If it's able. Will it still be the same? I guess not right?

2007 has been a terrible year for me. I hope it past by peacefully for the remaining months. I'm tired of it. Terribly tired. Let me rest.

Short Post

Tired to blog recently. On MC.

Too many things happened till I can't accept the fact.

I'm feeling very upset and down.

Depression strikes.

Now I need some time to cope and handle it.

Time to rest. On medication again.

Leave me alone for the time being. I'd like to be alone. Thank you.

Birthday Celebration

Pon-ed work. After deep thoughts, I've finally learn how to let go and put down. After all these things, I just want to keep myself and all the people around me happy. So I went to celebrate mei's birthday with her. Guess I'm kind of mad today. Cabbed down to Yishun at 9pm with a cake and a pair of chipmunks for her.

Mei's one of my closest and important person in my life. Doted on her lots. Known each other for so many years. Finally had some money to spend for her birthday due to I've started working. So of course must made the celebration warm and nice for her. A day not easily forgettable.

Didn't spend more than a blue note overall. Someone else did. Because even sister was invited down from Bedok all the way to Yishun. Although it's just a few couple of hours, I really treasured and enjoyed the time. Wonder when then I'll have the chance to enjoy all these again. I felt relax today.

Hey guy, thanks for all the things you did today. Gan dong-ing.

I LOVE YOU MEI! MUACKS! Hope you enjoyed tonight. Below is my mei with her damn delicious cake. *Thinks back and drools*

PS : Mei, don't mind me posting your picture here hor?



I've let go, have you too?

Troubled Waters

It's time not to avoid and have a talk.

Don't avoid anymore and let the matter drag on.

It's now you. You're the one who don't want to talk.

I don't know what you want. I know you're still reading this.

I know you are. Do you think I don't know you well after so long?

Please, face it. I mean no harm. You won't harm me also right?

We need a talk and you know it.

Waiting.

Another sentence

I'm confused and blur. Don't know what I should do.

A Sentence

Tell me, who's hiding from who. I don't know. And don't want to know.

The Mess

I'm sleepy. But I don't intend to sleep so early. 4am. 5 more hours and I'll need to wake up. But nope. No bed for me. It's computer for now. Wanted to tired myself out. So that I can sleep well till the morning without any nightmares in between. Controlling myself not to eat the pills. It's a controlled drug. Side effects had began to affect me. Blur mood and shivering hands etc.

Stress over job and some stupid problem. For job. I don't want to get transfer away to the east part of Singapore. Hence chiong ing sales like mad. Not many today. But at least have some. Am already glad. I don't ask for a lot of sales for me to earn. For the stupid problem. I heard a news about that person which concerns me. Not going to do anything. I'm just going to wait and see.

I feel that I'm really not being fair. But I don't know why am I still doing it. It's some sort of like making use. Will that hurt? Will I be hurt too? Why have I become so evil? Why can't I spare a thought for others? Why did I only care about myself? So many whys in my head spinning. I still can't forget the matter although I've tried really hard. I'm sick and tired of this feeling.

Just want to spend the night out till late. Came home and face computer. Nothing else more. I think I'm trying to make myself collapse real bad from what I'm doing now. Why am I doing all these once I heard the news of that person? Does that person's matter still concerns me? Regarding the matter, it's in a whole mess. And the pile of mess is getting bigger. Big headache.

I don't know. Maybe I still miss him after all? Oh ya, right. Miss him? VERY funny. HAHAHA!

Good Mood

Went to collect my commission. Was VERY satisfied with it. A nice 3 digits at last. 106 bucks. But the percentage dropped like mad. 1.5% of total sales. Wtf! Last time I still have 2.5%! You want earn a bit you go deduct from my company. Why deduct from my pay? Super bo liao. Not fair to me okay? Very sian about it.

But anyway, I earned a fat hell lot from the incentive. Each model sure have incentive. From 3 bucks to 8 bucks EACH. Must chiong more to get more. That's what Vincent said. And I only have till this month end to prove my sales. Otherwise it's get lost for me. I am asked to wear lesser and go out drag customers in. Wtf? I Geylang chick? Don't be crazy.

Already am very glad my commission finally got a 3 digits amount. Less a bit of commission never mind. What worries me most is the stress I'm suffering from. Have learn to let go and don't care too much. Since I now have a couple jobs more waiting for my reply. Muhahaha. All pay are 1000 plus, workplace at IMM some more. Sure can consider about it.

They helped me sold one lemon today. Thanks god. Really need to buck up. I'm in good mood recently. Hope my good mood brings in good sales for this weekend. If still no sales, I go bang wall suan le. Thanks all. Thanks for what you all did for me. Trying to cheer me up and forking out so much time to accompany me get out of my depression mood.

Damn. 4am already?! Murder me please. Only 5 hours of sleep tonight. Oh well.

The Decision

Blogger is back to normal! At last! YAY!

Back to work today. Still no sales as usual. But not that depressed anymore. My colleagues all managed to cheer me up in no time. I felt better. Thanks thanks people.

Having the thoughts of jumping grass skirt dance again. To BDD this time. Same old place I'm working at. But as their staff this time. Not as promoter. I can get commission no matter what brands and what products I'm selling. Get what I mean? Basic pay is 900 bucks. But commission can earn like mad. 300 to 400 bucks commission per month is not a problem if I'm willing to chiong. Pay is confirm better than now.

Had a nice day today. Lazy to bother too much about all those unhappy stuffs anymore. Maybe I should let go and let it off. If not it won't be fair. I need to buck up and chiong for work too. The chiong ness is back. Provided if I get more confidence in my products. Hey, if I can get so many sales for other brands, why none for mine? Coz I don't even have the guts to promote my own brand. Later I died on the street kena killed by furious customer. LOL!

2am? What? So fast? I don't want to go to work lahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

But no choice. Damn it. SLEEP!

The Best

Pon-ed work. I tell you. The feeling's SHIOK! Never been so relax before. Woke up due to cut off of electric at my house coz of the fucking lift upgrading. Actually don't intend to go out. But after much persuading from sister and him. Okay, on ah. I finally decided to went Bedok with him to find my dar sis.

He paid for the cab fares to and back from Bedok. Scary large amount of money I tell you. Went pool-ing with sister at Katong after lunch at Bedok interchange. I fell in love with pool today. But still bowling will be my top choice. Sister bought me ban mian. And the two guys ate those oily food like you know what being let out on the 7th month like that. -_-'''

After the pool session, went to Bukit Batok. Anyway the pool session was only played between sister and me coz some one don't want to entertain us. LoL. From east back to west all coz we went to find his god sister. Which the girl happens to be some one I actually got recommended by the guys last time. What a small world. His god sis makes me laugh like mad. But the questions she asked shot me like hell. What a disgrace. Jitao speechless. -_-

From Bukit Batok went Causeway Point for my treatment. Stayed till 7 plus and rushed back to my place just to see my family doctor for the stupid dumb MC. Got more sleeping pills from my doctor. But am advised not to eat too much as it had side effects. And I think I got the side effects already. Coz the time now is 5am and I can't sleep. Just because I didn't eat the fucking sleeping pills?! What the hell!?

Maybe still quite bothered by some memories and stuffs. Tell me, does memories hurts? Or they tends to be only sweet? I don't know the world could be such a small place. J actually knows that guy. And seems all of the people I know and he knows kena linked up like that. Don't care already. Need to concentrate more on my job. I know I'm getting fired soon. Coz Vincent says so.

Everything let nature takes its own course. Work and personal stuffs etc. At most I go work at Newstead? At most the worst happens again? The history repeats itself again? Serious then serious. Play then play. I'll go along. Don't want to hurt anyone or use anyone to forget anyone. I'm already disappointed. Are we even friends? Plane-ed me again and again.

Forget it, take one step at a time. 5am. Night.

Tough Life

Today was full of ups and downs. Stayed home for the whole day. Totally no mood to go out for any entertainment.

Messaged buddy at noon. Told him I'm upset. He said he'll call me back once he reached home. And at 7pm I received his call. Had a nice chat. Wonder why lots of people ask me to be wary of him. That's ridiculous. He's my best friend whom I know for 2 years plus. I know his character well. Maybe you can say I'm being make use of. But at least I'm willing k? Some more I don't think sharing problems to me is making use of me. Sorry, but I'm standing on buddy's side.

Guess buddy he really changed. Can still be friends with the girl after 'that' night. If you understand what I'm trying to say about the night thing. His broken relationship hurts him lots. Hence the change. I understand pal, no worries. Meeting him tomorrow for dinner. I won't be his dinner. Don't worry. *Laughs like mad* If anything want to happen, two years ago will already happen then.

We'll still be best of friends no matter what. =)

Escaping is the only way I can think of. If only I can MIA for long. But can't! I got to work. And work means stress. And stress means I will go MIA. And MIA means I will make lots worry for me. And worry for me means I'll feel bad. Feel bad means I'm a bad girl. So the meaning is I don't want to be a bad girl. I want to be good.

Hope the leave I applied will be successful. Wanted to go Malaysia this month end for a breathe of air. Can't hang on long anymore. Lots of problems. But not all can be reveal out. Coping it all by myself makes me suffocated. And stress is giving me health problems. I dropped three kilos in one month. Much more better than any diet plans. Which I don't want. Damn it.

Food, rest, relax. The things I want. Are they so tough? Maybe they aren't. But to me they are.

Why? Why is my life in such a mess? Sick of it. Let it end.

Let it end.

Stress Be Gone

I want to go MIA!!!

Stress, stress, stress.

No sales for two weeks straight.

Work stress and personal problems such are pain in the ass.

I can't hang on anymore. I surrender okay? Spare me!

Going to quit my job soon. This month perhaps. Go over there? Count me out. I don't want to barge into hell esp with some mou mou people there.

The old lively fun place was gone since long ago. If only time can turn back. Too bad it can't.

Now left is only memories.

And I HATE memories! I want the present and future. Not the past.

Damn. Stress. Be gone. Offs.

Drowsy Rules

Blogger really is getting very irritating and weird. The way the layout and template are so urgh! But seems everyone is getting the same thing isn't it? So forget it lah.

Too sick. Too tired. Hence blogger also kena from me. Fever has been high since noon. Making everyone so worried about me at work. I feel bad for making them worrying for me this sickly girl. And really, the fever haven't gone down yet. Of course I'm guai. I took medicine on time okay? But still, everything's against me.

Their supervisor, da jie, helped me sell one. She's so pro. Less than five minutes she managed to get my stock out. Thanks thanks! Owe you once! I was blur the whole day there. They all keep disturbed me. Yah lah, I blur very fun to disturb one. Will go huh here and there.

Alright, I just took medicine. Very drowsy. But I enjoyed the drowsy feeling. Don't know why. Maybe drowsy can help me forget bah. Searching for my bed now.

Sickish Week

In my previous post I posted about I'm going to work right? But damn. I came back home at 2pm. MC. What else? Reason must be accompanying my sister till too late last night. Think I caught a cold. Anyway, joking about sister's. Not his fault. Because our whole mp3 counter staff's sick. Of course I'll get the virus too.

3 days MC with 8 different types of medicine. POWER SIA! Vincent's not very happy already. I felt so pai seh for mc-ing so many times this month. But hey, I don't wish to be sick also right? Whatever. Tomorrow no matter tired or half dead die die must drag myself to IMM. At most die there. LOL! Touch wood.

Too stress up maybe. Hence that's the reason why I'm always sick. Can you imagine that I've no sales for 2 weeks? If I won't be stress then ho ho ho. I think I'm not a human already. I'm a robot with no feelings then. Smoked 10 plus crigs today. Don't know. Really stress. Any idea how to kill stress? Don't ask me not to think or go fishing okay? I'll murder you for these nonsense.

S.H.E's new album is damn nice. My Ella. So pro. Rap so much. Went to collect my album before I went doctor's. If I'm sick to death also must die with the album LOL! So many freebies. Jigsaw puzzle, single CD and a photo album collection. Cute and soothing songs for this album. I didn't regret getting this album. You should go get one too. Will give it 4 stars upon 5 stars.

Thanks so much for the presents and dropping by to visit me tonight. Appreciated.

Time for my medicine. And sleep. Bless me with good sales this weekend. PLEASE!

Night Out

Didn't post last night. I reached home at 2am. Jitao came back, rest awhile and zzz.

Coz I went to sister's house. Well, not actually house. Is just under his block. Coz his mama sleeping at home. Don't want to disturb.

They sing, we chat, gossip, joke. Oh ya, there's me myself and I. Dar sis, mr tian kong and shueting!!! I miss shueting and sister la, till I asked sister hug hug. He's so nice to hug as usual. LoL.

Sister's getting better. His mood is better. Hmm.. But my pocket is getting more and more jia lat. Passed sister some money, buy crig for him, and the cab fares plus midnight charges. Wa lao eh. 100 plus bucks in total. But but but, all worth. Coz sister's happy, I'm happy too. =)

And now, 10am. Off to get ready for work. Although I'm coughing, sneezing and fevering. The whole mp3 counter staff's are sick. What do you think?

Oh ya, my new Samsung mouse is nice. I'm loving it. Pss.. I know I'm posting a weird not myself post today. Don't ask me, coz I don't know why also. -_-

Damn. Work. Byes.

A Different Change

Pon-ed work today. Was feeling tired. Mentally tired.

Morning 10.30am

Me (Sian tone) : Hello Vincent, I'm very tired. I need a rest today. Too stress up with work. The target is getting further and further more away from me.

Vincent (Sleepy tone) : Yes girl, are you okay? Today don't go work. Go rest okay? Go sleep. Don't go out. Rest well first and relax. Don't worry about the target. Just do your best.

Me : Any jobs for me in the office? Think I'm not suitable to do sales.

Vincent : Currently no. You go rest first. Anything we'll talk next time. If you still not feeling well. Rest a few days more.

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH VINCENT!

Best in charge you can get. =)

Every time a call to him tends to help relax my uneasy stressful work mind.

Slept for the whole day due to the medicine's effect. I ate sleeping pill plus pill that helps me to relax. After the sleep. The feeling? SHIOK! But still drowsy.

I've decided not to care about the suddenly from no where pop out that his matter. And that guy's matter I'm lazy to bother also. Let it be past. Silent might be a good thing after all. Now the problem lies with buddy. He kept calling me ever since he knew a guy's after me. Said what I ate medicine blur blur he'll worried. Then plus asked me if I'm jealous with those girls after him. Asked me to go over his house also. If too late, camp there. WTH? Think buddy's drunk tonight.

Now the matter I'll care about is sister. Loaned him some cash. He's in a big mess. My poor darling sister. What happened to him? I'm so worried. Why must all the bad things fall on him? Buddy asked me not to believe him too much. Now who should I believe? Buddy or sister? For me I'll believe both. They're both my best friends. Trust is important in a friendship.

Me and his matter? You can say solved. My cousin saw him. Said he's good enough to be a stable one. Still trying. And I feel comfortable chatting with him. Totally have nothing much to worry about this. Although I got this advice. Proceed with caution. I will. Since once bitten twice shy. Thanks for the advice though.

I'm trying and I need more time. But time is running out for me.

The Complicated Mess

Matter getting more and more complicated.

Me, him, him, and don't know where pop out another him and her.

Fuck la. The rumor is getting more and more serious.

Yet seems it's not a rumor after all. Wth? You're kidding me!

Don't know and don't want to know. For the meantime I only want to settle the matter between him, him and me.

They seems so alike. Bad omen. Bad feeling. I'm afraid of history being repeated.

Why can't I forget the past? Is it that reason?

Maybe..

I'm expected an answer asap. Stress. Tired. Sleepy.

Goodnight..

A Post Of Thanks

Mood is back to normal. Thanks goodness.

Buddy called. =D

Thought he totally forgotten about me. But nope, he didn't. Had a few minutes chat because I'm on the bus. And he said that he'll drive here soon to meet me for a chat. Asked him to promise. But he don't want. Some more wth? He sa jiao to me. Guys sa jiao. Oh my god! -_-''

"Wo biao!!!"
"Wo biao gen ni jiang wo ji dian shui yin wei ni hui cong hui jia da dian hua gei wo!"
(I don't want to tell you what time I sleep because you'll rush home and call me.)
WA LAO EH! What I want to do he also know. Plus sa jiao sure won't lose to girls.
Mr Darren, wo fu le ni. *Claps* *Shakes head*

Whenever buddy called I'll sure be able to cheer up immediately. Some more had a very nice day out. Slept till quite late and crawled my way to IMM at evening time. Helped them to check stocks. Had dinner and went shopping after. After so long, I finally decided to go JEC. Luckily didn't bump into that guy. If not I won't know what I'll do to him. Maybe will slaughter him like slaughter pig like that? =l

Feel bad towards Tian Kong. He tried hard to cheer me up. But not able to. Where else buddy with a call can cheer me up immediately. Tian Kong accompany me took train and walked me home everyday. Afraid that I'll bump into that guy and run into some kind of danger. He's nice. But he's just like my kor in some way. Protecting me and such. No hard feelings okay? Just want to let him know. More ever I'm really not ready.

Tian Kong bought me a necklace from Taka Jewellery. Cost him a bomb. Thanks. Like it lots. I mean it. Really. =)

PS: That's my thumb with pretty pink nail polish. =P

Busy Life Failing Health

I don't know that one of my close friend is going and had already went for a minor operation. I don't know that one of my old classmate's mom passed away. I don't know how's sister doing now. I don't know what are my cousins busy with. I don't know what my mei meis are doing now.

I don't know EVERYTHING except for work. I've even forgotten what day is it today. Nah, it's a joke. Of course I'll remember Monday. But for the other days, it's not important anymore. Since I don't have time for anything except for work.

Missed out so many things. Just what is happening around me? I only know day arrived I'll work. Night arrived I'll went home. Spent time to read blogs every night. Envy them. I can't join any 'tuitions' anymore. Maybe it's not even called tuition now. Anyway, I'm referring to outings. Why can't things be the same anymore? Why can't time pause for a little while and let me have a breathe of air?

Facing tons of stress. Not sure if it's wise for me to use this method. Used work to forget my personal life's matter. It works though. But then due to work, the stress I'm facing is getting more serious. Damn it. 2 sales for this whole month. And it's already the 7th today. 8th is coming. And I hate 8th. If you know why.

I'm trying to make myself forget everything by keeping myself busy. Good point is the feeling is numb. Bad point is it's really tiring. Don't think I can hang on anymore. About to collapse. Smoking helps to keep me alive. Feel like crying, but hey? No tears? Dried up? I only know I need buddy now. Where is he? I need him to talk to.

Tired. And damn it. I'm hungry again. Stress.. Stress.. Stress.. I need food.
And maybe sleep...

Sleepy Talks

Blogger is really damn weird. What a page. Will just blog a super short post tonight. Because,

1) I'm sleepy like hell.
2) I'm tired till I need my bed more than I need food.
3) Tomorrow's Sunday and I need to hit sales.
4) Monday's my off day so I can blog more on tomorrow night.
5) Still 5? Wth am I still typing? Wasted 5 minutes of my bed time.

Damn it. Not able to sell anything today. Not even other brand's players. But really had a fun day playing around with Nasri, Jenny and my bro Lional. They keep teasing me non stop. Laughed till stomach pain. But not that much time to monkey around though. Saturday today. What do you think? So was quite busy too. Time past fast.

Can't wait for my off day. Another week arrived! Monday! You must wait for me okay! Don't fly so fast to Tuesday! Let me enjoy and rest 'gao gao' first okay! Guess I'll rot at home and finish up my two magazines. Otherwise it's another non resting off day for me. Day out. Thinking of sleeping for the whole day also. I miss my bed so much. But don't know yet.

B...E...D...T...I...M...E...!!! :D

A Change

I'm mad. Went on a shopping spree and spent 100 plus bucks on branded goods. A watch and Adidas bag. The things which I've been aiming for so long. Suddenly don't know why I just bought them both at one go. Happy! But feeling heart pain. My 4 days pay gone just like that.

Have to save more. Da jie recommend me to an office job at Amoy street. But I can't bear to quit. Although office job have more chances and potential, it's dull. Unlike being in the sales line, you can meet all sorts of customers. I even saw my old classmate with her hubby today. They're so loving can? And I'm envy of them.

Noticed buddy's msn personal message.
"It is better to go for someone who loves you, rather than someone who you loves."
I agreed with him. Been such a long time we last chat. Think he still wants to continue mia-ing. Stupid buddy. Forget it. Why should I bother to contact him first?

Used to no sales weekdays. What to do? BEST is like graveyard on weekdays. Can only chiong more on weekends then. Weekends here. Happy! Bro and Jenny's going to be back tomorrow. The new lady supervisor is not as bad as I think she is. Hope everything continues that smoothly. I don't wish to trip over any pebbles.

Damn. I need to control my spending addiction. My salary's running out fast. Wish me luck for this weekend. More sales please. I'm desperate for it.

Double Suffer

Had news about him. He still don't know he kena spy by so many people. Kena by my side and my friend's side also. So his background is the same as I guessed. See? I'm so smart.

Still as timid as before. What a coward. Go wear skirt lah! Don't be a guy. Just hope for now I'll be able to control my temper. If not he's going to get it real bad. I 'promised' him a slap. And he's going to get it soon. Maybe a stab also. If he get kill. Not my business then. LoL. I only know he's going to suffer real badly for messing with me.

The matter about J is getting more and more obvious. Why suddenly all things I kena? Not going to bother too much. His pattern is more than badminton. But he don't know I 'turn face faster than I turn book'. LoL. Went Sim Lim to collect pay today and find L for a chat over a crig. We talked a lot. Way more than last time. Thanks L! Appreciate the concern you showed.

Maybe I need to find some time to have a chat with J kor. He's concerned about all my matters yet too busy to bother much. I know all of you care for me. Don't worry. I won't do anything stupid to harm him and landed myself in trouble. Really need to hold down my anger. If not I can't promise he'll be fine because I already said whoever steps on my tail, I'm so going to step it back and

CHOP OFF THAT TAIL OF YOURS!

He'll get double the suffering. Trust me. He's not going to get it off that easily. Look here if you're still reading my blog. Be careful okay? Don't later die also don't know how you die. =o

The Hidden Words

Flu day. Everyone's sick. Misah kena the worst. Nasri also. I think I passed the virus to them. When I recovered. It's their turn to fall sick. Now they pass the virus back to me again. -_-'' Germs are everywhere at the counter. Having a slight 37.5 fever now. Why am I always sick?

Sales was bad. VERY bad. Not enough stocks. Simon, Nasri and me were headache about it. Got what sell what then. Although most are just leftovers. Mood's real bad. Thankfully someone knows how to cheer me up. I like the pink hp deco. Nice! Thank you! Recently into pink very much. Got affected by Xiexue perhaps. Her blog always pink here pink there pink everywhere.

Some thing's really been bothering me much. Since the day Mr Tian Kong said he saw that guy on the bus. So he's still alive? I thought he's dead. Not my business anyway. Just wanted to concentrate on work for now. Don't want to disappoint my dear in charge Mr Vincent. Pay day tomorrow. With my report in hand to summit. $4000 plus bucks sales total. Wee wee woots!

Saw Kelvin's Friendster. So he's back in KL. Hope he's doing fine over there. Low also. Missed them both. 1 month plus since they left. Newstead changed a hell lot. Maybe I need some time to adapt to the new Newstead. Suddenly for no reason or notice, lots of stuffs changed within a month. It's hard to get use you know? Not that easy to forget a feeling.

I always typed my blog using words hidden behind words. If you manage to guess it. Smart readers. If not, pardon me. I'll rather keep the contents hidden.

Oh ya, hi to my customer. Wonder how my blog kena found. Interesting. I don't know my blog's so popular. LOL! Just kidding. =)

'Labour' Day

Labour day really is labour day. A day that need me to do labouring whole day. And it's not happy at all. It's a fucking stupid idiot labour day. Damn.

Most messy day of the year. The two companies merged. And the stocks are messy like it's world war III. Helped them to tally a few things and spent the whole day doing cheap free labour. Managed to sell 2 and cleared the stocks for a model.

Checked with them the amount of my last month's sales. It's a whopping $4238! I broke my target! Happy like crazy can? The bad thing is they raise my target again. It's $8000 now. Actually it's $16000. But I managed to lower it down just now.

Come on! $16000? You mean total sales of mp3? My brand only? Then you're kidding me! Anyway, $8000 also damn hard to hit. Imagine Samsung only got $9000 plus last month. You want our stupid brand to get $8000? Dream on!

Stress. Not mainly because of work. Is because of a person also. Luckily there's a guy who offered to help me check into the matter. Felt more relaxed after hearing this. The interesting matter is he even saw that him today. Such a coincidence.

He sent me home tonight. Feel safe. If not I'll need to look here look there look everywhere everyday when I walked home. Had a nice chat with him. Very comfortable to hang out with. No need to restrict myself. I can just be me, myself and I. But wonder why he reminds me of Jeff though. Weird right?

Mum's back later. Wonder if she get me anything or not. Waiting. Wait long long.

Sleep first think later. =)

Confused Mind

I'll get to know the answer tomorrow. No point bothering myself over it now right? Hopefully it's not the answer I don't dare want to know. Can such coincidence really exist in this world? Singapore is a small place yea?

If it's for real. I'll make sure he pays me back double. Not the price. Is the suffering! And nope, I'm not joking. People around me know if you step on my tail, I'll make sure I'll step yours back. And...

CHOP THAT FUCKING TAIL OF YOURS OFF!

You think girls are born to be bullied? NO, you're wrong! Go back kindergarten and learn ABC if you have that thinking!

A good day out today. Provided that if some matters never happened. Came back late as mum was in Malaysia. Walked to JE with J and him. I don't know that those 'playful acts' of J and me will cause him to feel uncomfortable. Sorry guy. I never consider about your feeling. My bad.

J's another problem. He suddenly did weird actions when he learned about the matter today. As if J wants the whole world to know that he knows me better. Plus some nonsense questions from J stunned me on the train. Better let this be a joke. Otherwise I'll get murdered by woman.

Mr Tian Kong. I really appreciate what you did. I know you care. Thanks for all the things you've done. =)